Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
someone owes me an orgasm
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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