we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
