Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
