I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
