she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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