you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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