if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
