i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
