Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
