you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
