This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
