yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
