brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize