We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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