I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
