if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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