I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
