There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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