Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
