Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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