I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
