So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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