so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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