Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
