that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
