just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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