My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
