Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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