he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
