Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
