He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
