PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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