i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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