Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.

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  (949): i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing. http://tfl.nu/t71r
  Replies (61) Good night (801) Bad night (3188)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.

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  (661): I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle. http://tfl.nu/l8mr
  Replies (16) Good night (4802) Bad night (1052)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.

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  (519): Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid. http://tfl.nu/3gm4
  Replies (9) Good night (2532) Bad night (737)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.

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  (904): When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why. http://tfl.nu/7466
  Replies (7) Good night (2279) Bad night (952)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

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  (903): I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up. http://tfl.nu/rp3b
  Replies (9) Good night (2331) Bad night (1066)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.

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  (512): No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies. http://tfl.nu/7qkv
  Replies (17) Good night (2119) Bad night (880)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.

  (954): View more from Florida

  It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.

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  (305): I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight. (954): It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse. http://tfl.nu/qkdj
  Replies (7) Good night (1272) Bad night (705)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.

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  (856): What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today. http://tfl.nu/ecb0
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (508)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.

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  (608): The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee. http://tfl.nu/13nr
  Replies (3) Good night (2110) Bad night (380)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.

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  (845): Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored. http://tfl.nu/hxpc
  Replies (2) Good night (1346) Bad night (453)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.

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  (320): he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please. http://tfl.nu/ca04
  Replies (9) Good night (433) Bad night (857)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy

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  (519): I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy http://tfl.nu/0rhn
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (337)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.

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  (425): So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy. http://tfl.nu/7bpm
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (305)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.

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  (256): Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards. http://tfl.nu/ejyy
  Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (209)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.

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  (716): Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it. http://tfl.nu/e65n
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (784)

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