bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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