i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day