Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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