Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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(805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph

Replies (64) Good night (1074) Bad night (3074)
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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

Replies (13) Good night (2774) Bad night (682)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.

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(859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT. http://tfl.nu/s1v1

Replies (70) Good night (4678) Bad night (1363)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.

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(636): I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks. http://tfl.nu/gzvr

Replies (40) Good night (1000) Bad night (4410)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad

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(856): Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad http://tfl.nu/fp7i

Replies (70) Good night (768) Bad night (3534)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.

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(201): halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them. http://tfl.nu/b2tk

Replies (33) Good night (4666) Bad night (714)
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(650): View more from California

I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

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(650): I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/l4fs

Replies (46) Good night (9393) Bad night (1975)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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(504): I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1q7d

Replies (15) Good night (4418) Bad night (820)
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(626): View more from California

He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.

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(626): He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex. http://tfl.nu/kqx4

Replies (7) Good night (3650) Bad night (1202)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.

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(709): I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April. http://tfl.nu/hy0p

Replies (5) Good night (1433) Bad night (919)
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(914): View more from New York

Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.

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(914): Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why. http://tfl.nu/2wlq

Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (387)
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(801): View more from Utah

I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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(801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553

Replies (8) Good night (988) Bad night (572)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..

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(843): It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone.. http://tfl.nu/vld6

Replies (13) Good night (310) Bad night (1361)
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(310): View more from California

I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now

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(310): I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now http://tfl.nu/7a45

Replies (6) Good night (598) Bad night (426)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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(479): I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me. http://tfl.nu/4b9a

Replies (5) Good night (221) Bad night (414)

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