Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
