i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm