My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
