Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
