who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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