plz talk dirty to me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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