On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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