im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
there is glitter all over my balls
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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