I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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