I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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