she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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