new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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