why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize