So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
