cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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