I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
