just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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