If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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