i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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