i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize