Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
