so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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