9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
