flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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