Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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