end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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