How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
