I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
