Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
