Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
