He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
