these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
