planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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