how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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