If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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