i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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