you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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