it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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