i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
