Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's like iHOP with fire
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Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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